Forget traffic snarls, the rail variety is worse

A report by Peter Hanlon in The Age says that he was on his way home for Dad’s funeral, his grandson and he, well………….read on!

It’s good that we’re going by train; Dad worked 35 years for the railways, back in the days when human beings sold tickets and machines that accepted only correct change were a dream for the future.

The 12.32pm from Footscray to the city should get us to Southern Cross in plenty of time for the 1pm V/Line to Colac, but it’s going via the Loop, not direct as I had thought.  Off at North Melbourne, Joe and I scurry up the ramp and plead our case to the Connex employee at the office.

She is curt rather than courteous, as is the modern way. “Back down to platform one, take the first train, get off at Flagstaff, walk across to the other platform, and take the first train to Southern Cross.”

I’m worried, and ask how long we are likely to wait at Flagstaff, given our looming deadline.  She is sick of the interruption.  “Two to three minutes — tops.”  “You will make your train.”  “Now go.”  We are dismissed with a backhand wave. 

Three minutes later we’re diving into the Loop, off at Flagstaff, across to platform four, an anxious look up to the arrivals board. The next train is due in … 19 minutes.

We make our V/Line train, just, after a red-faced dash up three flights of escalators, a desperately hailed $5 cab ride, and a jaw-dropping exchange with another of Melbourne’s finest public transport servants.

Buying our tickets at Southern Cross, I ask the man for the phone number for the North Melbourne station, wanting to take a deep breath and congratulate Ms Curt on being the one hundredth Connex employee to provide me with incorrect information this year. “I could probably dig that out for ya, mate, but we’re not the bloody White Pages,” he barks, his gaze shifting beyond my shoulder as he calls, “Next”.

Trudging off, I notice the sign on his window. “Trainee — please be patient.”

The shortcomings of our public transport providers have been well documented, but the focus on tardy trains and insufficient numbers is unfair.  The rail and tram networks are complex, and will never operate perfectly.  The people who run them, however, could do so many little things that would make the pain easier to bear. Knowing their job, making an effort to help, and doing so with a smile would be a nice start.

Stuck on the fridge at home is a cheque for $1.80, my reward from Connex for tiring of the machine at West Footscray station refusing time and again to give me change from $5 on a $3.20 ticket.  A couple of weeks after my official complaint (in writing, official form, no human interaction required), it arrived by post.  There was no apology, no cover letter, just a cheque………for $1.80.

It reminds me of the little mementoes we would find at the back of cupboards as kids………a beer glass from the Southern Aurora, a mug from the Indian Pacific, an ashtray from The Ghan.  Dad’s rewards from satisfied customers whose trips he had booked with quiet care.

The scale is different, but the principle the same.

At Yarraville every morning for several years, two Connex employees have greeted commuters with the same ironed-on smiles, “good mornings” and platitudes about the weather.  Behind them are the old ticket windows, bricked up and useless.  If the ticket machine is accepting only correct change, they will inform each passenger of this, but are not equipped to do any more.  As a train pulls in and the line at the machine grows, they might offer advice, “You could try the milk bar …”

This is not customer service, just an elaborate tease.

Whoever wins the next tender to run the state’s public transport would do well to acknowledge that there is another way.  It involves people, and a little bit of effort.

And it works……….Dad had the ashtray to prove it!

Report by The Mole

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