When fear is nothing to be afraid of

by Yeoh Siew Hoon

I was having lunch the other day with a friend who’s taken the leap of faith out of the corporate world to run his own business.
No big deal, I hear some of you younger folks saying. He should be celebrating.

Yes, he is celebrating now, several months after he did the deed. But he agonised for close to a year before he acted on it.
Here’s what’s weird about it – he knew he needed a change.

He knew he was in a rut. Being the type who needs constant stimulation, he was so bored. But he was comfortable. He was earning good money, nothing was really overtly wrong, the people at work were nice, the boss liked him, he could do his job, eyes shut – which he probably did unconsciously for a long while.

Plus, he was in his 50s. It’s easier to take risks when you’re younger but when you’re in your mid-century and a male high up on the corporate ladder, it’s harder to take that jump.

“I remember making my first big career change in my 30s. It was exhilarating, exciting. This time, it was so difficult,” he said, shaking his head. Coming from someone I know who loves adventure and thrills, this was a big admission.

What was the trigger that made him finally do it? “I was spending so much time away from the office that my absence was being noticed,” he said, with a smile, “so we decided to end it mutually. I think what I needed was a nudge.”

It’s a bit like skydiving or bungy jumping – you never willingly step off the first time, you need a nudge.

For the first month, he said he felt so lost. “The routine I had for the last 15 years was suddenly gone. I didn’t know what to do. I questioned myself. Could I make it? Would I fail?”

Again just like those first few seconds of freefall after you leap off the plane or cliff – confusion after the adrenalin rush.

Looking back now, you wonder why he ever had any doubts. He had all the right skills, the business was right up his alley – a passion since his youth, and he had all the connections to make it work.

So what made him so resistant to change that it took him nearly a year to take action on what he knew he had to do? Today he knows the answer. “Fear.”

I know we all think our stories are unique. True, the circumstances are different but his story, just like mine three years ago, is repeated several hundred times a day the world over.

People who want to change but dare not for a host of reasons, and we all know there are several theories behind it.

But I think my friend summed it up in his one word-answer. In his case, he overcame his fear by doing something he knew would get him noticed which then gave him the nudge he needed.

Hey, nothing wrong with that. We all need a little help from our friends. But I think the key lies in understanding what are the triggers within us that will make us overcome that fear.

GRAB a coffee and catch up with Yeoh Siew Hoon at The Transit Cafe – www.thetransitcafe.com